Sunday, October 6, 2013

The Southern Fried Literate Baker Femme

I used to joke that was one of my great fears in life was a collision of my worlds.  The feeling was that there were distinct versions of myself, displayed to various people at various times for various reasons.  The fear was that, should people get together and begin to compare notes, I'd be found out.  Can open; worms everywhere. 

There was the liberal, but still fairly subdued niece/cousin/daughter.  There was the confident higher ed administrator.  There was the domestic goddess.  There was the queer femme inclined to submission and occasional kink.  It wasn't that these women couldn't get along; it was that the people who liked one of them wouldn't like the others. 

Over the last few years, I spent a lot of time trying to reconcile my identities.  The goal was to become a single authentic self that didn't have a compulsive need to be liked by everyone.  In some ways I've succeeded.  I'm much more comfortable with who I am and I think that makes a huge difference.

Yet.  Yet I still have a queer writer blog and a baker who likes to write blog.  I'm okay with that because they are different outlets and I envision them as having different (if at times overlapping) audiences.  This, of course, goes back to my preoccupation with the reader.  It begs the question, again--for whom do I write?

All of this over-analyzing comes courtesy of the apple crisp I made last night.  It's the apple crisp I make every fall, the one my girlfriend loves once in the evening and then every subsequent morning for breakfast until it's gone.  It's the one I write about every fall in my other blog, The Literate Baker.  It's the one I'm sharing now for anyone who happens upon this version of myself:


It really is delicious.  It's easy to make and will leave your entire house smelling divine.  It has both the Literate Baker and the Southern Fried Femme seals of approval.

So I haven't figured it all out; perhaps that's okay.  At least all my selves get along.  And they all love to cook.

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